Off the bat, I’ll admit that I knew I was wrong, but that didn’t stop me from being angry.
Starting from the beginning. We have been experiencing the potty training blues with our ever-so-brilliant daughter over the past month. Bits of January and February she was on the right track, she had accidents here and there, but at least she managed to poop-poop in the potty most of the time. She was even going to the potty by herself without telling us first or without us having to ask her if she had to go. Then she got sick for two weeks (Infectious Mononucleosis (Mono), also known as “the kissing disease.”
That set us back terribly, now all of a sudden, she stopped trying to go. She goes at school, but for some reason she lets it all out wherever, whenever at home. What makes it even worse is in her fight for independence, she wants to wear a panty and not her pull-ups. So we end up cleaning poop and pee off the floor a couple of times a day.
Yesterday, we were at the doctor’s office, we went there straight after picking her up from pre-school, so she still had on an underwear. I wanted to put on a pull-up on her, so to avoid any accidents, but she fought me on it, she wanted to be a “big girl.” So I explained to her that we were at the doctors and if she pee-pee or poop-poop in her panty that she would have to keep on her wet pants until we get home. I took the chance that she’d do the right thing. What she knows she should do. She didn’t.
She peed in her pants like I thought she might and hoped she wouldn’t. Then and there I realized how much parenting requires patience. I thought about the way my mother would respond to that, if my three year old self did that, after fighting to keep the panty on, I felt sure she’d go ballistic on me, right there at the doctors office, onlookers or not (we are Caribbean folk). However, being that I live in America, I kept my cool.
Now back to the story at hand. I tried forcing my daughter to go to the toilet today, even though she said she did not want to. Often, she has an accident just two seconds after we’d asked her if she needed to go. So I wanted her to at least try. My daughter is in her “no” phase, she tells me no numerous times a day and she is quite stubborn. So I’m yelling and threatening, and she is getting frustrated and angry at me, and I at her. Then my husband comes out.
He tries to speak to me nicely and tell me that this technique will not help us in our potty training quest. I knew that, but I didn’t want him questioning my parenting skills, so I tried to shut the bathroom door in his face. That makes him mad, now he’s yelling and I’m trying to walk away from him as he is trying to talk to me. I am angry because of the way he is shouting at me in front of my daughter and he’s angry because I am not listening and I am trying to run away from the conversation (imagine that).
I’ve told him before, when you start to shout, I stop listening. There is nothing that makes me angrier in this world than to be shouted at or told to shut-up; even when I am wrong I still expect your respect.
So I’m angry. I feel the tension and frustration boiling in my chest; and I want to scream so loud aliens could hear me in Mars; I want to tear the place up; rip stuff; punch stuff; break stuff; throw stuff; and I don’t want to ask God to help calm me down because I want the anger to fester, I want my husband to know how angry he has made me.
I know your expecting me to have some big solution of what to do when you feel like that. I’m still working on it. Maybe the right thing to do is to walk away; go meditate for a while; talk to God; not hurt someone physically or with your words; and not destroy your stuff or anyone else’s and regret it later; that makes no sense. Keep your cool is all I can say to you, before you do something you regret or you can’t take back.
Anger causes people to do stupid things. When you allow yourself to stay in that place, it gives the devil the leverage he needs to destroy you and use you to destroy others. Don’t be Satan’s minion.
I eventually calmed myself; and nothing or no one got hurt in the process. Writing is very therapeutic. I love it. You should try it. I’m going to go hug my family now.
What God’s Word Says about anger?
Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret-it leads only to evil (Psalm 37:8).
A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Proverbs 12:16).
Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).
A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless (Proverbs 14:16
A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated (Proverbs 14:17).
A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly (Proverbs 14:29).
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger (Proverbs 15:1).
A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel (Proverbs 15:18).
Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city (Proverbs 16:32).
A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered (Proverbs 17:27).
It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel (Proverbs 20:3).
Do not say, “I’ll pay you back for this wrong!” Wait for the LORD, and he will deliver you (Proverbs 20:22).
Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control (Proverbs 25:28).
Mockers stir up a city, but wise men turn away anger (Proverbs 29:8).
A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control (Proverbs 29:11).
An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins (Proverbs 29:22).
You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, “Do not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.” But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment … first go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift (Matthew 5:21-24).
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs (1 Corinthians 13:4-5).
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions (Galatians 5:19-20).
“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4:26-7).
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:29-32).
Let your gentleness be evident to all (Philippians 4:5).
But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips (Colossians 3:8).
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful (2 Timothy 2:24).
My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires (James 1:19-20).
Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing (1 Peter 3:9).
I Wanna Punch Stuff Video-from “I’m in the Band” Disney XD