You may be wondering what’s up with the three titles above. Well, honestly I didn’t want to choose between any of these three prospective titles because they all reflect what I am going to write about. So you pick whichever one you like the best and let me know, okay.
There is an illustration used in many sitcoms that we often find hilarious; but it kind of accurately depicts what goes on regularly, if not always, inside our thoughts and spirit.
There are two versions of ourselves, one on each shoulder; one wearing a fiery red devil costume with a pitch fork in his hand, trying to convince us to embrace our wicked side; the other wearing a glowing white robe with wings on his back and a halo over his head, ever so sweetly representing the good in us. Then you have to decide which one to listen to, whenever you need to make a decision.
I often feel as though they are two mes. One which is a vibrant, confident, powerhouse of a woman ready to take on what life throws at her; ready for adventure; rolling with the punches; and getting back up and dusting herself off whenever she falls. She often hears a voice whisper in her ears; “You are wonderfully made, you are loved, you are significantly blessed.” She doesn’t over-explain or over compensate, and she doesn’t apologize for who she is. She loves God, herself, her life, her family, her children, and everything that she is and represents. She is healthy physically, spiritually and mentally. She is always wrapped in the warmth of Jesus’ embrace. I could describe this woman forever, because she is my favorite. Yes, I said it, I have a favorite.
Then there is the other one; who lives in darkness all the time, her thoughts and attitudes are always toxic. She is always angry, afraid, worried and anxious. She hears voices that lie to her everyday; they say things like; “you are worthless, stupid, and incapable;” and she believes that smut. She walks around in despair all day which makes her unable to do or enjoy anything in life; and she is never able to grow because she never steps out of her comfort zone. Satan has her under tight lock and key in the darkness, so no light could ever shine through.
These two mes are both fighting for dominance, and I know which side I’m routing for. However, it is going to take more than just sitting on the side lines and screaming to the top of my lungs; “Go Latisha, go; Go God go.”
I have to make a choice. I have to be the one to hold all my thoughts captive and make them obedient to God. I have to choose confidence in God and not in myself; and cast my cares and fears on HIM, because he is better equipped to handle them than I am. I need to choose happiness and joy; and pray and believe I can move mountains with faith as small as a mustard seed. I have to do what I can, and trust God to do what I can’t. I have to believe that I am wonderfully made in God’s own image.
Psalms 139 (NIV)
For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.