Anyone, who has been following along with my blog since the beginning of this year, would have been following along with my blog series “Transitions: Waiting for a Season of Change” and they would know what season of life I am in right now.
According to a fellow sister blogger, it’s an “Incubation to the Extraordinary.” It feels as though I am still the caterpillar waiting in my cocoon until the day I can emerge a butterfly. Slowly, the cocoon is shedding and slowly I can feel my wings emerging, but I can’t yet fly free because I have not yet been completely released from my shell.
I can feel the sunshine slightly beating on my face, but it is not yet spring.
Now what does all that mean in plain ordinary English. I can see signs, big and clear, of the possibilities of many prayers that I have, for years, been praying, hoping and believing for the day they would be answered, being answered, but not quite.
There are obstacles and challenges, and the path to these answered prayers are not smooth sailing, nor is the sailing in my hands. It is completely out of my control. There isn’t much of anything I can do but wait and hope the puzzle pieces that seem to fit will actually fit together, and this particular season of wait will be over.
Is this all a part of God’s master plan? Why is all my answered prayers dangling in front of me and I have not yet grasp them? What is going on? Is God being a big tease?
In between, my faith that “all things work together for the good of those who love God” “Seek ye first, and all these things will be added unto you,” “I know the plans I have for you, plans to proper you, to give you hope and a future,” “ask, seek and knock.”
Romans 2:28, Matthew 6:33, Jeremiah 29:11, Mathew 7:7
In between, my faith that God is working it all out for me, as he has many times before. In between my faith that God would never forsake the faithful. In between my trust are hints of fear, times of worry, discouragement and frustration.
I’m afraid, that what I see happening, the doors I see opening, the possibilities of being given more will fade away, will be closed, will just not work out.
My heart would be devastated and very much broken.
Would God do that, dangle your answered prayers in front of you and then pull it away from you before you can get to them?
God does a lot of things we do not understand. Like allow you to carry and love a baby for nine months, then only allow you to keep him for a short time after his birth.
So what is the plan here? What is He doing?
I am trusting that it will be alright in the end, that He is still working on my behalf and He will move the parties involved to open these doors completely, to more, to better.
But what if I am wrong?
Latisha,
Thank you for your transparency in this post. It is a beautiful demonstration of the brokenness of self that we experience as we learn to trust God through our grief, confusion and fears. It’s brokenness for a purpose- for His purpose! I am not sure what God has in store for us, but I believe that with great suffering comes great assignment. Through suffering we are humbled and made malleable so that God can use us to accomplish His will. I have no doubt that God is going to use all that you have gone through. In fact, just thinking of it makes me smile. I pray that you are smiling as well.
xoxo
Letetia
My prayers and thoughts are with you, my sister. It is very difficult to see a partial answer to a deeply prayed desire, and then to wait . . . and the hope never really seems to be fulfilled. I live there, and it is a challenging place to be.
Part of the challenge is that not a lot of people are in this place, or if they are, few are free enough to admit it. It’s a sign of failure on their part, somehow, that they get tired, discouraged, wondering a bit about God. I have thought of Him not so much as a tease, as much as a juggler, pulling my strings.
It is a most difficult thing each day to stand up straight, take His hand and say, “Okay. You’re all good. There’s no bad. No bad means no teasing, playing with my mind, dangling something in front of me and taking it away. That’s not you.”
And sometimes, that’s the best you can do. But somehow, you get through the day, because like Peter, we think, “Lord, where can we go but to believe in You?” A good God, a just God, a kind God, and all loving God — this is the God worth worshiping, and when we fall into thinking that He is playing with us, we’re off the compass, and looking at a false image of who He is.
Although it is difficult to find and a bit expensive (I got it through interlibrary loan and am seriously considering buying it, because it deserves a re-read), Seriously Dangerous Religion by Iain Provan is quite, quite excellent, and deals with the issue of mankind’s — not just your or my — difficulty in trusting in our all good Father. I also recommend George McDonald’s Unpublished Sermons 1, 2, and 3 which I found for free on Kindle. In-depth reading, both, but well worth it because they challenge the sadly shallow way we look at God, and are taught to look at Him, in the 21st century contemporary Christian establishment.
Prayers to you, my sister, for healing, rest, peace, and a sense of His deep, deep love.
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[…] our kids. Twitter | Instagram | Google+ | Facebook | Pinterest Co-Host Latisha // AskLatisha // Is God a Great Big Tease //Been seeing answers to alot of prayers almost coming to be, but not quite. Every single one is […]
[…] our kids. Twitter | Instagram | Google+ | Facebook | Pinterest Co-Host Latisha // AskLatisha // Is God a Great Big Tease //Been seeing answers to alot of prayers almost coming to be, but not quite. Every single one is […]
I don’t know your story (I just found your blog) but I do know how difficult it is to trust God with what we feel are loose ends. His timing is so much different than ours, and his plans are so all-encompassing that sometimes it feels like he’s forgotten the work he started with us.
He’ll come through, he always does. Not always in the way that we expected or the way that we think he should, but his ways are wise and holy, and all he asks of us until then is that we trust. Easier said than done, I know.
Thank you for this sincere look into your heart. The things you’re grappling with are things so many people struggle with, me included. But we rarely talk about them.
Hang in there, I pray you find God’s hand in this season soon.
Sometimes the answers were are looking for are right before us, but we don’t see them until after we’ve already gone thru it and are looking back reflecting. But to answer your question, “Would God do that, dangle your answered prayers in front of you and then pull it away from you before you can get to them?” The answer is no. But God answer is not always ur expected outcome. Live the life you are given and be grateful for every day…because one day it’ll all be clear. But pondering over questions like “what is the plan here? What is He doing?” rarely leads to anything but frustration. Because at the end of the day you do have to trust God is and WILL ALWAYS work on your behalf. God has not forsaken you. But that peace you seek is only accomplished when u accept and believe that. You won’t always get that which you seek or when you expect it. But it will all be in your favor. Just be patient and trust in God. Ask and ye shall receive.
Interesting post. I see the struggle with the flesh you are having, to be hoping yet worrying that what you see may not be happening. I encourage you to rest in the promise that God “works ALL THINGS together for the good of those who love Him.” You quoted this in your post, so I know you know it, but do you truly believe it? Leaning back on the promises and goodness of God, in His character, is the one thing that will keep us from being swayed by our doubts. Thanks for linking your post with us at Grace & Truth. Praying God draws you closer to Himself, no matter the outcome or how long He builds your patience.
[…] I’m looking for if I live the life I have been given, instead of trying to figure out what is God’s plan, what’s He doing? If I just trust God and be […]
Oh I have felt this many times. It seems that many opportunities have opened and then closed. I am confident that God is using the process of waiting and growing to work deep things in us and through us. I am reminded of Romans 8:28 in the AMP version, “We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Linking with you from Grace and Truth.
I love this. It’s honest. But I thank God that our Lord can handle our honesty. Sometimes we think anything less than confidence might scare our Lord away. I know exactly what moment you are in, this waiting period. I feel it myself too. I think we’d be wise to remember that God is Holy, and He is good. So inspite our broken dreams, we have to realize that He is still good, and kind towards us, and trustworthy. We may not understand everything this side of Heaven. But nothing but love motivates His actions towards us.
[…] kids. Twitter | Instagram | Google+ | Facebook | Pinterest Co-Host Latisha // AskLatisha // Is God a Great Big Tease //Been seeing answers to alot of prayers almost coming to be, but not quite. Every single one is […]